“Bring me that horizon” – Jack Sparrow

 

I don’t care who you blame for your shortfalls or what you blame for your hardships, you’re the captain of this ship and you’ve chosen this course! Well, Captain, where are you headed from here? You’ve hit the proverbial rock bottom, you’ve isolated yourself from those who support you, and you’ve poisoned your body and mind with toxic negativity and shit food. You can continue down this path playing the role of the victim or you can look back at this chapter, shrug it off and set your focus on the next segment of your life.

 

Lucky for you, life is not one continuous boring essay. Life is an adventure novel with innumerable chapters and guess what- you write those chapters! You’re in charge of when one chapter ends and when a new chapter begins, you’re the masterful designer of this life you play the main character in. You get to choose what you leave behind and what you move forward to.

 

You may feel stuck, you may feel indifferent, or you may not know which direction you want to go, but momentum is key in this journey. Change your story and you change the momentum. Think positively and you will attract positive energy. Cherish yourself and treat yourself right and others will follow suit.

 

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) you cannot edit past chapters. Once they are written, they are set. There is no delete or backspace or eraser to undo what you’ve done. There’s only unlimited ink to write the future and remedy the past.

 

So set your gaze up toward the horizon, Captain. The next chapter is waiting to be written!

 

Your Humble Skipper

 

Sometimes asking for help is the bravest move you can make. You don’t have to go at it alone.

 

If you find yourself reluctant to ask for help when you need it, you’re not alone. Society has instilled a belief that individuals who are strong and capable don’t ask for help. In the process of trying to be that strong and capable person, we’ve actually succumbed to fear. Fear of imposing on someone. Fear of revealing a struggle. Fear of losing control of the situation. These are all strong fears so it’s no wonder that we don’t ask for help or support more often.

 

Asking for help is one of the hardest life skills to practice, but it’s a skill that makes you a better human. Humans naturally want to share experiences. Humans naturally want to feel supported and we naturally like to support and give to others. Tribes were built off of this concept, but in a staunchly individualistic world we’ve lost sight of our innate tribal values.

 

When you don’t ask for help, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to receive and you’re depriving those who’d love to help you of the chance to do so. The greatest thing about asking is that, in doing so, you’re giving someone the opportunity to give. You’re allow others to experience the happiness that comes from giving and you’re creating an environment of collaboration while doing so.

 

As a new year roars in with its fresh hope and new opportunities, we find ourselves ready to turn a new leaf- to continue to strive toward a better self. Remember that you don’t have to enter this year alone. Let’s set our egos and unhealthy fears aside and courageously look to others for help!

“The unexamined life is not worth living”- Plato

 

Am I living a lifestyle that pairs with my beliefs and values? That question surfaced in my mind a couple of days ago and I’ve been turning it over in my head since then. It’s a thought that became infectious. I couldn’t escape it. I drew a “Thought Map” and brought my inquiry to close friends and family.  Ample discussion was created and fostered until eventually we had supporting questions and theories that intertwined into a tapestry of new cognition and understanding. It was no surprise that “authenticity” was the word that became the central thread to our tapestry.

 

It’s easy to look around one day and find ourselves in lifestyles that don’t serve us: a job that doesn’t align with our beliefs, relationships that drain us emotionally, commitments that seem never-ending and paralyzing. If you’re a science nerd, you could relate your life to the Second Law of Thermodynamics which states that the universe tends toward entropy or disorder. Yes! It does seem that our lives naturally gravitate toward disorder and jobs, relationships, or commitments that do not serve our end goal. For me, that goal is to live authentically and in line with my beliefs and values. Because of this natural progression to an unfulfilling existence, it is our responsibility to monitor our direction and adjust the course every now and then. 

 

Notice that I did not say CHANGE the course, I said ADJUST. When you work through the Thought Map below, it’s important to remember that the goal is not to uproot your life and start from scratch. The goal is to make adjustments within the confines of your reality – to SHIFT your world back in line with your authentic self. For instance, you don’t need to quit your desk job if you think it does not speak to your desire to make a positive difference in people’s lives. Perhaps you can start adjusting by bringing that difference to your coworkers or customers. 

 

I’ve converted our Thought Map into a series of simple questions so that you can use it for your own personal growth. It’s something I’d like to share with you as I’ve found it to be a great tool in observing my inner story and how it aligns with my outer story! I’ve always found myself most happy when those two are closely aligned. The goal is to use this map regularly to track motivators, ensure that you’re living authentically, and to point you in the right direction when you’ve hit the proverbial “fork in the road”.

 

 So…without further ado:

 

 

Feel free to click the image for a larger view 🙂

“We never noticed the beauty because we were too busy trying to create it” – Unknown

 

I call myself solar-powered. My personality blossoms and my soul glows when I’ve had ample time outside in the sun. Both my personality and soul take a nasty downturn when the skies are gloomy and the days are wet. Fickle? Maybe. A reality? Absolutely.

 

So what is a woman from Northeast Ohio to do when she realizes that her happiness hinges on the amount of sun she gets in a day? She shoves the desk job aside and moves to a place that has 300 days of sunshine to work as a horse wrangler.  You see, I’ve never been one to settle for moderate adjustments in my life. It’s a pretty simple formula- Figure out what I like.  If I don’t like it- remove it. If I like it- chase it.

 

Over the past 3 months, I’ve spent every day under the vast blue skies and warm Colorado sun. Every bright sunny day has brought a smile to my now very tan face. I’m solar powered and boy am I thriving in my self-manifested world! My body and mind have adapted to my new surroundings- my hair is steadily becoming a lighter color as it bleaches from the hours in the sun, my skin is darkening so much that I barely recognize my own hands, and I find that I don’t even check the weather any more knowing that each day will bring me my needed dosage of sun!

 

Question: What could be more beautiful than getting exactly what you want day after day?

 

Answer: Getting what you don’t want.

 

I was scooping horse poop in the baking hot sun last week when I saw out of the corner of my eye something absolutely beautiful: storm clouds. What they were and what they represented were striking. They were unexpected, refreshing, and DIFFERENT! A huge smile crept across my face to welcome the storm and its cool breeze and revitalizing rain drops. Suddenly I’d gladly traded in my beautiful blue sunny skies for the seemingly ominous rain clouds I’d moved all the way across the country to avoid.

 

That’s when it hit me; what I find to be beautiful is not always what I consciously prefer. It’s constantly in flux and directly related to what I I’m exposed to regularly.  Beauty isn’t stable, but rather unique. Beauty isn’t manifested by me, but rather natural and wholesome. I’ve found that to me, beauty is found in contrast. It’s in experiencing something different that refreshes the soul and revitalizes the senses. Beauty is found in being exposed to people, places, or experiences outside of predisposed preferences and self-made categorizations. 

 

Most of us subconsciously seek similarity and congruence in our friends, daily habits, thought processes, and preferences. What I’ve recently realized is that by artificially building our world around us with only what we’ve consciously deem “beautiful” and “perfect” we’ve built a word with universal appeal and conformation. We’ve eliminated the contrasting beautiful bits that refresh and revitalize us! The true beauty is in variation. It’s found in the imperfections of your grandmother’s homemade quilt, the off-color brush stroke in a piece of art, the wrinkles on a wise man’s face, the scar from a childhood fall on your significant other’s knee, and it’s in nature all around us. Beauty is not always sunshine. Beauty is dynamic. Beauty is in variation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Life’s all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever” – The Vow

 

Sometimes you fall short. Sometimes you give your all and your all just isn’t good enough. As a millennial, I’ve been showered with the idea that “I can do whatever I put my mind to”. “Nothing is impossible if I try my hardest and give it my all”. Sorry Mom, that’s just not the case.

 

I’m the type of person who concentrates on the result, not the path to get there. My specialty is finding alternate paths to the same result. I once had an executive of a Fortune 50 company call me “scrappy” when describing my work ethic. I’m the person you call in when you need something done and you don’t care how the outcome is achieved. All of this is because I refuse to believe I can’t.

 

I have a few select memories that I deem “defining moments”. These memories span from my childhood as early as 3 years old to the present. I view these moments that are etched in my memory as the key ingredients to the recipe of who I am.  No matter how insignificant they may seem to the onlooker, these frozen moments in time built me. Many of these moments built me up and many of them tore me down, but in the end they’re all an integral part of the person I am today. 

 

I encountered another “defining moment” this past week. I won’t go into detail about the incident, but I will say that it is and will always be frozen in my mind. It tore me down. It smacked me in the face with the reality that sometimes your best just isn’t good enough. Sometimes you can give your all and still fail. Sometimes the perfect outcome is not an option. Sometimes you have to understand that you can’t.

 

So what do we do with these defining moments? What do we do when we finally learn that sometimes your best isn’t good enough? We grow. We move forward. We try again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If you want to make an easy job mighty hard, just put off doing it” Olin Miller

 

 

This Blog post is 1 day late. Why? Because I’m a procrastinator. I really have no excuse. Monday doesn’t come as a surprise. In fact, Monday comes once every 7 days, in fact. So why didn’t I prep my blog post so that it would be ready for that day following Sunday? Procrastination.

 

Well, it’s now Tuesday morning and here I am proclaiming to the World Wide Web that I have what I believe everyone else in the world also has- procrastination.  Yes, I called you a procrastinator, but before you stop reading and walk away from your screen calling me names, please hear me out. While some people may be chronic procrastinators who are in thrall to procrastination with every deadline, some of us are able to live productive lives void of the symptoms of procrastination. You’ve likely just learned how to conquer it or you ensure that it doesn’t affect the vital aspects of your life by allowing yourself to procrastinate with the insignificant stuff. Either way, everyone procrastinates. It’s just a matter of how you do it.

 

According to Dr. Joseph Ferrari (who happens to be an expert in the matter), there are three types of procrastination:

 

1-      Thrill Seaker – Enjoys the feeling of working hard against a deadline

2-      The Avoider– Uses procrastination to avoid being judged

3-      Indecisice – Perfectionists who procrastinate to shift responsibility from themselves

 

If you’re unsure of what type of procrastinator you are, you can check out Dr. Ferrari’s simple flow chart here.

 

 If you’re anything like me, you think Dr. Ferrari is wrong. According to his flow chart I procrastinate for the thrill of it. Personally, I think I’m just lazy. Are you with me? Well, if so below are 5 simple steps to stave off any of the 4 types of procrastination:

 

1-      Break your project into smaller steps– Break the work down into tiny steps and keep your eye on the small step at hand. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Since you’re not procrastinating you’ll have time to assess the big picture at the end.  

2-      There is no perfect time- You may be over-complicating it. There is no perfect time or place for some tasks. Toughen up and get it done. Don’t overthink it.  

3-     Change your settings- Set yourself up for success by ensuring that you feel comfortable in the environment that you’re expecting yourself to be productive in. I find that I need designated areas for certain types of tasks.

4-      Pick your friends wisely- Surround yourself by people who are knowledgeable about your goals and push you to complete them. The right people will also facilitate by keeping distraction at bay while you’re working your way to the finish line.

5-      Take the first step- Starting is the hardest part. Set yourself up for success by writing the first line, walking through the door, opening the book, turning on the computer, etc. The rest will fall into place if you’ve followed the above 4 tips and tricks.

 

If you care to watch a comedic yet painfully accurate TED talk about the matter, click here to watch Tim Urban talk about the woes of procrastination.

 

Below are pictures completely unrelated to the above post, but totally beautiful and share-worthy. Ranch life is alright!

PHOTO CREDIT FOR THE ABOVE PICTURE GOES TO ANDY JONES- THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE IT!

PHOTO CREDIT FOR THE ABOVE PICTURE GOES TO ALI BRIGGS- THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE IT!

PHOTO CREDIT FOR THE ABOVE PICTURE GOES TO CLARA MILLER- THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE IT!

“This is the most beautiful place on earth. There are many such places.”- Edward Abbey

 

 

I have a serious self-diagnosed psychological hang-up and it’s likely that you have it, too.  You probably don’t know you have it simply because nobody has labeled it or drawn out the symptoms for you. Some people have a more extreme case of it than others and it’s very likely an epidemic of the younger generations.  In fact, if you’ve got a bad case of it, it’s likely that it’s effecting your daily life in ways you don’t know.  It’s called FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. The concept was introduced to me back in college and I’ve used the acronym to justify my actions to myself since then.  Clearly, the concept has really gown on me and I’d like to share it with you.

 

According to Oxford Dictionaries (which added the word in 2013) FOMO is “Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website”. I’d say that’s a pretty spot-on definition. Thank you Oxford! At first glance it seems that FOMO clearly isn’t a good thing. To this I say yes and no. Lets dive in:

 

FOMO can be an ailment for this simple reason: FOMO comes from unhappiness. If you’re happy with your life you’ll find that you’re indifferent to other people doing fun and interesting things. Personally, I’ve come to find that if I’m unsatisfied with my current situation or not feeling confident with certain aspects of my life my FOMO hits full swing. I find myself checking social media constantly, checking in with friends and family to see what I’m missing out on, and frantically jet setting around the country to catch all the awesome events I just couldn’t miss. However, I believe the following:

 

FOMO can be an instrument to help you realize you need to alter your course or refocus. If you’ve found yourself in the FOMO cycle you’ve made the first step in identifying it! Now you can use it as a diagnostic tool for your own happiness! My friend group has been using FOMO as a productive aspect of our lives for years. We use the concept as a motivator to participate in more activities, jump into more opportunities, and chase down more possibilities all in the name of ensuring we don’t experience FOMO.

 

So go ahead! Stop comparing. Stop moping. Start living YOUR life and start refocusing on YOUR motivations. It starts by logging out of Facebook and checking in with your reality.

 

PHOTO CREDIT FOR THE ABOVE PICTURE GOES TO ALI BRIGGS- THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE IT!

 

PHOTO CREDIT FOR THE ABOVE PICTURE GOES TO ALI BRIGGS- THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE IT!